Thoughts
Why Erick Must Paint?
July 15, 2025
When choosing the domain name for my online portfolio, I had to select among several options, but "Erick Must Paint" resonated with me the most. Being aware of branding, image, consistency, and professionalism, I initially hesitated to use the domain name, as it felt like it did not sound ‘professional enough’ to represent a portfolio, especially when resembling the title of Bartkowiak’s movie, Romeo Must Die, which starred Jet Li. I initially chose Erick Henares Artworks because it sounded safe and professional, which is still reflected in the Facebook equivalent of this portfolio (I cannot change it, so I will probably create another account). However, it felt distant to me. It felt like subscribing to the norm, even if it does not align with who I am.
So I eventually changed it. I justified the change as being true to myself, even if it goes against the norm, to follow what I feel is right. I already did the plunge, so why not go all in? Erick Must Paint embodies my struggle, how I push myself to paint despite the countless challenges. It represents countless moments when I have to force myself to paint or draw, despite fatigue, burnout, and a lack of time. It also embodies the sacrifices I made to pursue art, dropping other activities and people to have more time and energy to do art. Above all, it reflects this period when I became almost a hermit, focusing on art.
Of course, the anxiety is still there. I still worry, ”What if it fails to get traction?” “Turn off prospective galleries and collectors?” “Judged as unprofessional?” “What if it will fail?” etc. Thinking about it, everything here is uncertain. And if I must fail, at least it gave me the satisfaction of being true and will not blame myself for compromising and still failing. It would be better, though, if this succeeds in getting my artworks in a gallery, earning a base of collectors, and remaining true to myself.
For now, Erick Must Paint stands.
My Story
July 15, 2025
I have always been drawn to art since I was a child. Unfortunately, I did not receive any support or encouragement to do art. I was even punished for doing art. During my elementary school days, I had to write notes of my class lectures at the end of every school year to obtain school-end clearances, as my notebooks were filled with drawings. At home, art was not taken seriously. It is often viewed as a mere hobby that does not lead to a career or generate income. I also had to wail my lungs out to at least get coloring pens because my parents thought they were unnecessary. The emphasis was on academics, with the goal of earning a degree and securing a good job. The importance placed on academics stuck with me, and I became very skilled at writing and editing academic and research papers (even for disciplines outside my course), which financed my art.
Under pressure, I completed my college education and later pursued an MBA. I took on corporate jobs, and it looked nice being in a corporate outfit. However, I was miserable doing it. I knew those jobs were not for me, and I was only there to earn a living and to impress people that I worked in a nice Makati office. But I hated waking up to an alarm clock, dressing up, and braving the Manila traffic every day. Such, I couldn't stay in a job for long. This lengthy detour explains why it took me a while to pursue art and venture out into the world.
Things changed when I passed by an art store at a mall, Deovir at SM Manila, to be exact. It felt ethereal, like entering a dreamland, where all those repressed aspirations began flooding back to me. I was like a teenage girl with a crush, who found her true love checking those art materials. The sensation was so overwhelming that it never left me until today, and that was 13 years ago. Since then, I have known what I wanted and what would make me happy. Art is something that I wanted to do, even if I wouldn't get paid for doing it. Money and material success lost their allure to me.
Since then, I have made it my mission to improve my craft and become the best artist I can be. I have many visions that I want to bring to life on my canvas. I then enrolled in the UP College of Fine Arts short course on painting. Then, I took online classes in classical drawing and painting, followed by Galvez Atelier to strengthen my foundation in classical art. I continue to learn to this day, enrolling in various classes and studying other people’s techniques on YouTube. I also add people on social media whom I can learn from. On a theoretical level, I reached a point where I write art criticism and formal analysis at universities abroad, albeit under other people’s names.
I am often asked why I only came out now. There are several reasons. First, I have so much respect for the craft, especially for the discipline and methods that resonate with me. If I am to come out into the world, I want to be ready and able to create art according to my vision and true self. So I spent a lot of time studying, practicing, experimenting, and doing plenty of plates and studies. Second, I have to juggle art with my day job that finances it. Oil painting is not cheap, especially with my method, so I have to work. My day job is also mind-rending, requiring a lot of reading and writing, which takes away the energy to paint. Such, I am always tired, making it longer to finish an artwork. I know I can still push the technical boundaries of my work if I can dedicate myself to it full-time, but I have to make do with the available time and energy I have. I have already reduced my social circles to only family and a few trusted friends to conserve energy on socializing, and eliminated extra activities to an absolute minimum to optimize my time and energy for art.
So what know? I don’t know. For now, I have achieved my goal of completing a body of work and introducing it to the world. Will galleries and collectors display and buy them? I don’t know. However, there is this nagging feeling, a sense of certainty that my art has a place in our culture and art world in general. They are a product of years of study, and my method is unique as it blends the old with my own style. They have a story, and they cater to an underserved niche. It may take time for them to be appreciated, but for now, I am content as long as I can continue to paint.